Helping with the anxiety of aging

By PHIL MULKINS World Staff Writer - 10/7/2009


Joy Loverde is a leading authority on successful aging and care-giving, and a consultant for the fast-growing "mature-market industry." She recently revised and updated her best-selling guide, "The Complete Eldercare Planner: Where to Start, Which Questions to Ask and How to Find Help" (Three Rivers Press, tulsaworld.com/RandomHouse — $20).

As reference books go, this one is put together with the quick-reference reader in mind but is also thorough enough to be meaningful and useful. Its 14-page index runs AARP through YMCAs and features 1,200 lines of headings and subheadings. It features a list of 250 Web sites of societies, associations, agencies, centers, federations, groups and commissions ranging from the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety to Working Caregiver. Another list of the same groups is provided with their street addresses and phone numbers for people who do not use the Internet.

The book's contents include information on communicating, emergency preparedness, money matters, legal matters, insurance, housing, safety and security, transportation, death and dying, etc.

The 385-page guide is a valuable resource to help you along the way, including getting help, long-distance care-giving, moving out of the family home, essential questions to ask, responding to an emergency, dealing with spirituality, managing guilt, juggling work and family, paying for care, managing medications, and saying goodbye.

We all face difficult decisions with aging parents, spouses, relatives and selves — often a daunting task with many surprises and unanswered questions such as, "How can I be in two places at once when I work full time? How do we pay for in-home care? Do I really want Dad to move in? How do I bring up sensitive issues like not driving? How do I get my siblings to pitch in? Where do Mom and Dad keep the important documents and papers?"

Unlike other books on the subject, this one focuses on the overall reality of eldercare.

Everything needed is here: time- and money-saving checklists, worksheets, practical step-by-step action plans and low-cost resources.

It is an essential resource for those facing the many challenges of today's care givers.

Also useful to the eldercare giver is the Life Advice pamphlet "Caring for an aging loved one" produced by the MetLife Consumer Education Center and reviewed by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Administration on Aging and the National Council on Aging at tulsaworld.com/AgingLovedOne .





Publications on the golden years

Seven publications on dealing with the "golden years" — six of them free — are offered by the Federal Citizen Information Center.

Four ways to order them are available.

Your Social Security Number and Card: 515T (free) explains why we have Social Security numbers, when and how to get one — 2 pages, 2006, Social Security Administration.

Apply Online for Social Security Benefits: 517T (free) explains filling out online applications, how this information is protected and who may apply online — 8 pages, 2007, SSA.

Federal Benefits for Veterans and Dependents: 105T ($5) explains disability, pension, health care, education and housing loans for veterans and their families — 148 pages, 2008, Department of Veterans Affairs.

Request for Social Security Statement: 516T (free) is a form to get your earnings history and an estimate of your future benefits — 3 pages, 2003, SSA.

Resources for Medicare Beneficiaries, Navigating the Coverage Gap: 521T (free). When Medicare temporarily stops paying for your prescriptions, you must cover the cost yourself, creating a "coverage gap." Learn how the gap works, how to keep track of expenses, and where to get more help — 5 pages, 2007, Federal Citizen Information Center.

Social Security: Understanding the Benefits: 518T (free) provides details on retirement, disability, survivor's benefits, Medicare and Supplemental Security Income — 21 pages, 2008, SSA.

Social Security: What Every Woman Should Know: 573T (free) discusses how a woman's Social Security benefits may be affected by disability, divorce, widowhood and retirement. It covers benefits for your family, what to do if you change your name and Social Security numbers for children — 24 pages, 2007, SSA.

Ordering methods: Including a $2 mail handling fee, make checks payable for the publication's cost to "Superintendent of Documents." Mail your order to, FCIC - 09D, PO Box 100, Pueblo, CO 81002. Using a phone and your credit card number, call in your order to Federal Citizen's Information Center (888) 878-3256 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays. Fax your order, with credit card number or GPO deposit account number, to (719) 948-9724. Online, save the $2 service fee by ordering at tulsaworld.com/FCIC .





Tulsa World consumer writer Phil Mulkins wants to know which topics interest you most. Call 699-8888 or e-mail your interest to phil.mulkins@TulsaWorld.com or mail it to Tulsa World Consumer, PO Box 1770, Tulsa OK 74102-1770.




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